Note: The song Haunted written by Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues.

Jack O'Neill wasn't listening to the words of the song on the radio until Daniel stiffened like he'd been blindsided and laid aside his sheet of papyrus or whatever it was he'd been studying so intently for the past hour. Jack had been amusing himself with a memory of the last hockey game he'd seen on TV, recalling the key plays, the goalie's last great save, his mind as divorced from the lab as he could get it and still hang out with poor old Daniel. Since Sha're's death, Daniel had held everybody at a distance. Then there'd been that screw up with the Destroyer of Worlds--okay, so she showed up, all young and innocent, when Danny boy was at his most vulnerable. Should have expected something like that. He was probably torn up over that, too, not that he'd gone all gaga over Linnea's younger form, but he'd been sympathetic--Jack didn't know exactly how sympathetic and he didn't want to know, but it hadn't helped in the long run. Daniel needed to let it go, but Jack knew from the loss of his son that letting go wasn't easy. Sometimes it was impossible, sometimes moving on felt like a betrayal, as if to say that the loved one didn't matter anymore. He was pretty sure that was why he couldn't forgive himself over Charlie's death, even though he could go on most of the time without the memories that had filled his nightmares with harsh, technicolor images. Now, Daniel's dreams must be just as vivid. Like Jack himself over Charlie, he would have made the choice to die in her place, not that he could have controlled what happened. Teal'c had been given no other option, none. Daniel said he knew that, even if he was still a little stiff with Teal'c. Probably would be for awhile, but he was a fair man. He'd come around there.

Ever since Sha're's death, Daniel had thrown himself into his work. Jack had tried to lure him over to his place for beer and confessions, even if confessions weren't either man's strong point, but Daniel had held off. He didn't let people close to him. Maybe he was afraid to, afraid he'd get close and someone else he loved would die. It had happened before, why not again? Jack could have told him there were no guarantees, never would be. At least he had his good memories. After awhile, Daniel would find comfort in them, just as Jack did in his own, remembering things like Charlie's last Christmas, that father-son camping trip....

Head cocked, Daniel focused his entire attention on the radio. He could do that, concentrate on something to the exclusion of everything else. He'd done it so often that the rest of SG-1 was used to it. Jack didn't know the song, hadn't heard it before, but it went on:

Yeah, great. Just what he needed to hear. Daniel was haunted by his memories. After all, memories could be scarier than ghosts--you could exorcise ghosts, couldn't you? You couldn't dump memories half so easily, and just as well. Most of the ones you tried to dump you'd regret losing, down the road. No easy way to tell that to Daniel, either. He'd have to live it to find out, and that was the hardest part.

Shit, stupid song even mentioned the gate. Course it didn't mean the Stargate, but how many times must Daniel have imagined stepping through the gate and finding Sha're? Then, when he finally did, it had ended with Sha're dead. And all that stuff Sha're had managed to dump in his head through the ribbon device. Weird. She'd tried to help him as best she could, but all he'd think now was that he'd never see her step out of the gate, alive and herself, returning to him.

Course he'd never have a chance to see that perfect love soured, the way Jack's and Sarah's had, either. Hell, maybe he was just a cynical old Colonel. Maybe it wouldn't have soured. Ya couldn't suggest that the glow would have faded with time, not to somebody as earnest and sincere as Daniel. Idealists fell the hardest when things went wrong. That's where cynics came from. Jack didn't want to see Daniel turn sour like that. Didn't want him to lose that eager hope that had always characterized him. Would the loss of Sha're destroy it finally and completely? Jack wanted to reach out abruptly and switch off the radio, but he didn't. Not that he had much hope of healing coming out of the song. Didn't sound that kind of song.

Well, that was right, they couldn't. Not a hope. Daniel's eyes glittered too brightly. Was he gonna cry right here in front of god and everybody? Well, in front of Jack, who wasn't exactly your most sensitive of guys and didn't know how to handle things like that? Shit. But then, it wasn't about Jack being comfortable. Never had been. It was about his best buddy and the way he was hurting. Who was it who had pulled Jack out of that dark pit he'd been in so long after Charlie died? Daniel. Hadn't done it with soothing words, either, but he'd found a way to make life worth it again. Course Daniel wasn't Jack. He hadn't exactly bounced back at the few bracing words Jack had lobbed his way since Sha're died. He'd just pulled the world in around him and plugged along, the way he always did. Never gave up. But sometimes his enclosed world got awfully narrow. Had to be bad for him.

Shit. Now Sha're wasn't out there to share it from within the prison Ammaunet had made of her body. Maybe it still existed, just like Jack's love for Sarah hadn't ended, nor hers for him. They couldn't be together, and probably never would, but a part of him couldn't quite let go. Here was Daniel, all earnest and distressed, and he hadn't let go, either. Maybe never would, not completely. At least he knew Sha're had never stopped loving him. Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair and watched the grief play across Daniel's face. He had to be all torn up inside. Would he hate it that Jack was here, listening to the stupid song with him and understanding how lousy he felt? Would he rather Jack slipped away and left him to his sorrow?

No! Jack wasn't about to do that. Too many people had left Daniel Jackson already. That was the whole problem. He wasn't gonna count himself one of them. This wasn't about his own discomfort, this was about his friend, who needed him. Hang in there, Jack. You can do this.

Oh, great. They didn't have a future together. Ammaunet had seen to that, had forced Teal'c to blast her to save Daniel, and Jack was glad he'd done it; not that he'd killed Sha're in the process, but that he'd saved Danny boy. Hard to imagine life without his own stubborn archaeologist in it. He'd lost too many people himself to want to lose any more of them, especially Daniel. But if something didn't give here, this could tear the team apart--and the team was all they had.

There he went. A tear leaked free and trickled down Daniel's cheek. He averted his eyes, then turned completely away with frantic urgency. "Go away, Jack," he whispered, his voice broken and desperate.

Jack didn't move for the first second, then he did. He came up behind Daniel and put his hands on the younger man's shoulders. "Not gonna," he said gruffly. "Come on, Danny, it's okay." Not Sha're's death, no, that would never be okay. But mourning her? Yeah. That was okay. That was necessary. "It's okay," he said again.

Daniel didn't fight him. Maybe he couldn't. Instead he leaned back against Jack, wrapped his arms around himself and let the tears come. He was still stiff and tense, but he was trying. Jack said, "Shh, shh, it's all right," and wrapped his own arms around Daniel over the younger man's clasping arms and rocked him gently.

"...sorry, Jack..."

"Hey, hey. Nothing to be sorry for."

Daniel's body was still tense, but at Jack's reassurance, he relaxed and let himself sag against O'Neill.

It was a beginning.

© March 23, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.