"He is immortal. Not because he alone among creatures has an
inexhaustible voice,
but because he has a soul, a spirt capable of compassion and
sacrifice and endurance."
William Faulkner
**********
"Colonel, I have to admit I’m nervous about doing this." She lowered her voice and glanced around uneasily, even though they were alone. "I’ve never done this before, sir."
Jack would have been tempted to laugh, but he found he couldn’t in light of her obvious, wide-eyed anxiety. "Relax Carter, it’ll be fun. I’ve done it lots of times. Just follow my lead." He flashed a reassuring grin. "Teal’c and Jonas are joining us."
"I want this to be something we all do together." Holding the door in an elaborate show of chauvinism, Jack issued a half bow and grinned. "Loosen up, Major. You’ll have a good time. I promise. That’s an order."
As he held the door and looked at her, his face wearing an easy-going, relaxed, rarely seen smile, Sam was surprised at how much younger he looked. It was as if he had dropped ten years when he traded the responsibilities of command for the anticipation of sharing something he enjoyed with his team. Despite her misgivings, Sam found herself smiling back. "I’m loose, Colonel. I’m loose."
The drive there was a rare bit of fun in their normally stress-filled lives. Even Carter found herself relaxing as the Colonel skillfully maneuvered the big truck through the Christmas traffic around the mall.
"Crap, I’d rather try to fly through a meteor storm than take my chances with last minute shoppers on a mission. I’d have better odds at coming out of it alive." Despite his words Jack seemed to be enjoying himself and it was obvious to his team that even the snarl of traffic wasn’t diminishing O’Neill’s good humor. Jack’s steady stream of humorous holiday anecdotes of Christmas’s past had them all sharing his lighthearted mood. The Colonel’s smug tale of the year he and Kwalsky had given Ferretti a scorpion wrapped in a colorful box marked ‘Holiday Edibles,’ had Carter and Jonas laughing outloud. Even Teal’c seemed amused when Jack revealed that Ferretti had lost the package in a poker game and somehow the damn box had ended up in General Shelley’s hands being unwrapped as he shared Christmas dinner with the troops.
Traffic thinned as they escaped the shopping district and as Jack signaled and moved towards an exit ramp Carter, looking out the windows, cringed at the fluttering in her stomach. Her previous anxiety threatened to reemerge. Here, the cheerful Christmas music blaring from the truck’s speakers seemed out of place. No smiling caricature of Santa and reindeer, sleigh piled high with Christmas cheer, graced the streetlamps. Few shoppers filled the sidewalks and those that did clutched treasures wrapped in brown paper bags as they stumbled along the street. Litter filled the gutters and hopeless faces, care-worn and lost, watched as they drove past. Carter snuck a peek to make sure the truck door was locked.
Apparently Sam wasn’t the only one with sudden anxiety. Jonas leaned forward, his voice almost lost in the blaring carols. "Colonel, are we in the right place? This seems to be a really," he paused searching for a diplomatic term, "different part of the city. I’ve never seen anything like this before."
"Nor have I," Teal’c added although his calm repose belied any anxiety as he surveyed the depressing scenery before them.
"Relax, Jonas," Jack ordered as he turned down a dimly lit sidestreet. "I told you I know what I’m doing."
His words were obviously true as he wove confidently through a maze of streets that would have baffled a gifted rat. They drove past dark, abandoned warehouses, their windows boarded like blind eyes; under bridges where cardboard towns spawned and despondent people stood warming themselves over burn barrels; and into the heart of the broken and forgotten.
Finally, the big truck stopped in front of a small innocuous looking building. A tiny hand-painted sign nailed above the door read, ‘Compassion House. All are welcome.’ Shutting off the engine, Jack turned to the others and with a big grin announced, "Well kids, we’re here."
As they walked in Carter was surprised at the number of people that filled the small room. Small clusters of men stood around talking and laughing quietly. Others sat in folding chairs tapping their feet to the beat of the cheerful carols that played from a battered tape deck. Here and there, she spotted a woman, bundled to the point of near gender anonymity, standing along the wall. And then, almost as if a silent signal had been given all eyes turned upon the foursome standing in the doorway. Sam swallowed nervously and wished suddenly that she had thought to bring a bottle of water to soothe her dry throat.
A small dark-skinned man, his bearded face in stark contrast to the sparse hair covering his head shuffled forward in the silence. Even the tape chose that moment to end, the click as it shut off sounded loud causing Carter to jump. Even though the room was warm, there was no doubt that the man was wearing his entire wardrobe. Layers of mismatched cast-offs peeked out, giving the little man a rotund, tick-like appearance that Sam suspected was misleading.
Stopping in front of Jack, the man craned his neck up to look the tall Colonel in the face. A near toothless grin erupted from the bushy mass on his face. "Colonel, you bring me a Christmas present like you promised?" A quick glance towards Sam broadened the grin. "Hope she’s it. No need to even wrap it. She’s pretty."
Carter shot a anxious glance at the Colonel.
Giving Carter a wink, Jack grinned at the man and putting his hands on his knees he bent over so that they were looking eye-to-eye. "Damn straight, she is, Connie, but you’re so old you’ve forgotten what to do with a gift like that so I brought you something else more your size." Laughter erupted throughout the room as Jack reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a gift wrapped box and handed it to the old man with an easy smile.
"Thank you, Colonel. I knew you wouldn’t forget." Looking up at Sam with admiration, his toothless smile wide, he added, "More’s the pity though." Bringing on another round of laughter that to Sam’s surprise she shared.
"Kids, I’d like you to meet my friend Connie. Connie, this is my team, Sam, Teal’c and Jonas." Greetings exchanged, Jack thumped the little man on the back gently, "Kids, Connie and I go way back. He frequents Compassion House when he’s not drunk in some alley on the streets." As Sam’s face flushed in embarrassment at his tactless remark, Jack leaned over and spoke in a mock whisper as he winked at the chortling man. "It’s okay, Major, Connie knows he’s homeless. It’s not a secret."
Sam was surprised when Connie burst out in loud guffawing laughter, "You sure right about that, Colonel. That’s about the worse kept secret in the whole damn city." Turning back to the people filling the room, Connie’s voice carried authority that belied his stature. "Turn that music back on, Henry. It’s Christmas Eve. Let’s act like it."
Jack moved forward with the easy grace of familiarity. "The kitchen’s this way, kids."
Sam was surprised at the ease with which the Colonel took command of the kitchen. She had panicked a bit when Jack had calmly informed the team that they would be feeding nearly a hundred people. ‘In the cold weather, more will show than usual,’ he had calmly shared as he reached for the gallon size cans of green beans. As far as she knew, Jack’s culinary expertise was no greater than hers and consisted mainly of prepackaged, frozen, andready-to-eat dishes. But as she watched in amazement he moved around the small kitchen as if it were an old friend, issuing orders, giving directions, and laughing.
Laughing?
It was not something Sam associated with the Colonel. Smirking, yes. Grinning, or even snorting, but not laughing. Yet here he was, in this odd little kitchen, wearing a silly apron and a chef’s hat, helping to fix Christmas Eve dinner for a group of people normally feared and at best avoided. And he was laughing.
"Jonas, cut the vegetables into smaller pieces. A lot of these people don’t have good teeth and its hard for them to chew. Teal’c, buddy give me a hand with the ham. It’s ready to go in the oven. How come you’re not wearing your hair net?"
Sam stifled a giggle at the look Teal’c aimed at O’Neill.
"Regulations, T-man. What can I say?"
Before long the aromas began filtering through the room and Carter could see eager, hungry faces glancing in their direction.
"Okay, kids, let’s go socialize while everything is cooking," Jack ordered as he peeled off his apron and hat and tossed them aside. Without looking to see if they were following, he walked cheerfully out of the kitchen and back into the main room where Sam could see even more people crowding into the small room than before. With a shrug towards Teal’c and Jonas she moved to follow O’Neill.
Jack was socializing in a manner that made Sam wonder just how often he had done this. It was obvious that he knew many of the people, laughing, joking, and calling many by name. Occasionally he would call one, or all of his team over, and introduce them. There was an easy-going side to the Colonel that hitherto he had kept hidden. The Colonel was revealing a piece of himself. And suddenly Sam realized what a gift she and the others were receiving. With newfound understanding, she walked boldly over to a quiet woman standing alone in the back of the room as if she were trying to become invisible in her immobility. As always, in his own unique way, the Colonel was teaching her something. And as Sam smiled at the dirty, ragged woman watching with timidity, she was determined to act on his example.
Later, as they served heaping plates of hot food to the hungry line of people, Sam turned to Jack. "Colonel, I would like you to meet my new friend, Glorus. Glorus, this is Colonel O’Neill I was telling you about."
"Pleased to meet you, ma’am. I’m glad you could join us today." Jack smiled across the counter to the woman, who shyly reached for the plate he handed her, but looked as if she had been more nourished by the kind words than the food. As Glorus moved down the line to accept a cup of coffee from Teal’c and a slice of pie from Jonas, Sam saw her glance back and give an uncertain smile, transforming her down-trodden features into the attractive girl she had once been.
As he handed the next plate out, Jack looked over at Carter and nodded. "You did good, Major. I knew you would."
The evening ended with rounds of off-tune singing of favorite carols and prepackaged Christmas cookies decorated with red and green sprinkles. Jack surprised them all by singing, albeit off-key, most of the songs. There was good natured laughter and Sam realized as she sat between Glorus and Connie that she was having a great time.
"Hey General," one bearded man chortled, "you are one sorry singer."
Jack laughed. "That’s for damn sure, Ruby. Get your sorry ass out of that chair, if you think you can do better."
Laughter erupted as hands pushed the protesting man out of his chair and towards the front of the group. "Okay, General, you win. Tyler, Essie, you two get up here, too."
People shifted as two others shuffled reluctantly forward to join Ruby. Sam was surprised as the men began rocking gently back and forth and a rendition of Blue Christmas was sung acappella that would have had Elvis green with envy. Whistles and clapping filled the room convincing the trio to continue the impromptu concert.
As Jack drove slowly down the dark streets. Snow was drifting down, silently blanketing the sidewalks. Sam watched the city with newfound understanding. She wondered where Glorus would sleep tonight, and tomorrow night, and the next. It hadn’t been much, giving up one night to feed some hungry people, but it was something. It was a start and Sam had learned long ago you can’t reach the solution to a problem unless you’re willing to see it as a problem in the first place. A problem capable of being broken down. One step at a time, one person at a time.
The radio was playing softly as Jack pulled onto the exit towards home. Sam leaned back on the headrest, closed her eyes and listened to words that now held new meaning for her.
‘I’ll be home for Christmas. If only in my dreams.’
Author’s notes: A happy and safe holiday season to the whole SG-1 fan fic family. Thanks for a wonderful Jack-filled year. A special thanks to Charli Booker for dropping her work to beta this fic.
© December 2003 They’re not mine, sigh, a girl can always dream. Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement in intended. They don’t earn me a dime, just new friends and some time away from my laundry. That’s entertainment! The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.